Earlier this week, I posted a letter I had written 20 years ago, addressed to myself in 2008. I jokingly instructed myself to write back, and after Maypole suggested it again, I decided to give it a try.
Dear Chrissy,
Where should I begin? First of all, 32 is not old. It is not old at all. So just get that out of your head. Now that we have that out of the way, I have some advice I would like to give to you.
Middle school is tough. It stinks. It will be one of the unhappiest times of your life, not because of your circumstances, but because of your attitudes and mood swings. What would help you an awful lot is if you would just quit pining for things you don't need.
You don't need to be friends with the popular girls. They're just not very nice. They are not the kind of people that you need to have in your life. They will disappear from your life in a few short years and you will never hear their names again. Some of the friends that you have right now are the kind of friends that will stay with you through the many changes that will be coming your way in the next 20 years. Stick with them, and you will do well. Oh, and that girl named Joy with the glasses that you see in Chorus every day? Get to know her. She is a good egg. Don't be resentful of her just because she is a better singer than you and the teacher loves her.
You don't need to give your mother such a hard time. You will regret this later on. Don't throw a tantrum just because she won't spend the money for those acid-washed Guess jeans. She is actually being a good mom by denying you those things. It is hard to believe, I know, but it's developing your character. Besides, those braces on your teeth are a much better investment.
You don't need to pretend that your not smart just to be cool. Getting bad grades is not cool, it's self-sabotaging. You should always try your best, even if the other kids make fun of you for it. You will need those good grades when you start thinking about college, and you will regret the years you wasted goofing off.
And finally, let's talk about boys. You don't need them either. I know you desperately want them to like you, and they don't. I know that hurts. Eventually, you will blossom and they will take notice, but I would really like for you to feel content with who you are, regardless of whether or not you are receiving their attention. That alone would help to smooth out the bumpy ride you'll be taking through adolescence.
I guess the best advice that I can give you is just to enjoy being a kid while you still can. Growing up will happen soon enough, and there's no need to rush it. You're going to turn out fine, you know. You're going to grow up to be a wife and mother, and you're going to be thrilled with the life you've been given. You are and will continue to be blessed by God. He has a wonderful plan for you, and you won't regret choosing to follow Him for one minute.
Take care of yourself,
Chrissy
P.S. Go ahead and eat all the Oreos you want after school. The day is coming when that will actually make you gain weight, so enjoy it while you can.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
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i'm so glad you wrote this letter. don't you wish you really could give it to yourself then? not that you (or me, at that age) would listen. sigh.
ReplyDeleteThis made me all sniffly & I'm not really sure why. I guess because I identify with it so strongly, and you are right, all that stuff we worried about really didn't matter. And because my kids don't believe it just like I never did.
ReplyDeleteAnd because of the oreos. I miss guilt free oreos.
I second the sniffles. Not sure why... ahhhh hormones! Anyways, I have the overwhelming urge to hug you! Hugs
ReplyDeleteThat was a great letter to your 12 year old self. I wish all 12 year old girls could read that and really get it. It would save them so much pain.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wish there was a way to really get a message to my twelve year old self. I was obsessed with silly things back then, silly things that just took up space in my brain. I turned out just fine, and I have a beautiful baby boy and a wonderful husband to prove it. Having the right clothes and the right hair and all that didn't matter a bit. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, how I long for the days of guilt free eating! I think I might need to save this note for when Autumn is a 'tween. I worry so about how we are going to get along and if she will make mistakes like me. I want the best for her....
ReplyDelete