Saturday, September 8, 2007

Temper, Temper

I recently made the acquaintance of a very sweet young lady who had two children. Two angelic little girls, one a preschooler and one an infant. As we were chatting about motherly things and getting to know one another, I mentioned something in passing about temper tantrums. Probably something along the lines of what an issue they have been at my house...and at the grocery store...and in the get the picture. And this sweet, perky lady laughed knowingly and said, "Well, Lauren tried having a temper tantrum ONE time, and when she saw that it wasn't going to work, she quit doing it!"

So this new lady and I are not going to be friends. What a pity. And I guess little Lauren doesn't have a good work ethic, to give up on something so quickly. She doesn't show the tenacity or ingenuity that my children have, trying new ways to have bigger tantrums in new places, refusing to accept defeat even when all seems lost. Lauren is just a quitter! (Do I sound bitter?)

Actually, I was once just like Lauren's mom. I once had an angelic toddler and a cherubic baby. I took a parenting class at my church, and I honestly thought I was the best parent in the class. I had never dealt with defiance or tantrums or constant sibling fighting or potty training, and I felt sorry for all those frazzled mothers who raised their hands and shared their horrific tales. They just didn't know what they were doing. Poor things. I probably offered them some flippant advice, too, like Lauren's mom. And they probably had the same bitter reaction.

So this week I've started the parenting class offered at my church. Different church, same parenting class. I still have my old book. My perspective, however, is completely different.


  1. Ahhh. I know this very well. If I could just be one tenth of the mother I thought I was when I just had Allison. Sweet compliant Allison who is often refered to as "the easiest child on the planet" by friends and relatives who know her. It took me having more children to understand that her good behavior was a reflection of her personality, not my parenting, and I now have several other poorly behaved children to go with my big slice of humble pie.

    I could not have been friends with the "new lady" either. I make it a point only to surround myself with people who's children behave worse than my own. You know, so I can feel better about myself.


    Good luck with the parenting class. Which one is it? I just took one this summer and everyone seemed shocked that I thought I still needed after 11 years and 4 kids. I had to burst their bubble and tell them you never do quite figure it all out.

  2. Joy, that's funny, I have surrounded myself with friends who have "active" children, too. Not on purpose, it's just that the ones with quiet children never seem to call me back. Hmm..wonder why...

    Seriously, I have found that my true friends are the ones who offer a sympathetic ear and encouragement rather than a quick solution. Those are the people I like being around. The weird thing is, almost all of them have four kids. Go figure.

    Oh, the class is Love and Logic for preschoolers, and I'll have a post on its absurdities soon, I'm sure.

  3. Hi, my name is Stacie, and I am so freaking guilty. And I see it so clearly now that my child has entered that "3 year old" stage. My apologies for any failures on my part to be an understanding aunt. But since that sweet little boy who is my heart has turned into a biting, hair pulling, hitting, "Yes, I want a spanking!" monster, I will take my humble pie...the whole thing (I'm eating for two, you know!).

  4. Girl! I would have gotten up and left that woman and her little Lauren right then and there. The gall to say such a thing. Here house must be so boring.

  5. Oh, just wait! Just wait for that moment that the temper tantrums turn into sarcastic displays of arrogance. Just wait til you have to remind your daughter (who's taller than you) that you are still the mother. AHHH the teen years have arrived! There must be a support group of some kind for mothers of 14 year old daughters who think they are 30. I'll have to Google it...


The kiddos

The kiddos

Kidney Peril Updates
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos and videos from chrissyinthecarpoollane. Make your own badge here.

Contact Info

chrissyinthecarpoollane at g mail dot com.