I had the rug jerked out from under me on Tuesday, but today I think I'm finally getting back up and trying to come up with a plan. I called the urologist's office and got a long list of questions answered, and then I called random nephrologists and found one that could see me next week. That made me feel SO much better.
Everybody and my mama has been advising me to look around at surgeons and find "the best". I have no idea how everybody finds doctors that are the best, and googling things constantly is making me a little crazy right now. One thing that people have told me over and over again is to go to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. I really like my current doctor, but I realize that I like her because she is personable and that I honestly have no idea what kind of surgical skillz she has.
So I looked around online for a good surgeon in Dallas, which got me nowhere, and then I called the doctor that I worked for last month at the Fair. He is an OB/GYN and a cosmetic surgeon. I explained the whole mess to him and asked him what doctor he would see if he was in my situation. He stated that without a doubt he would go to MD Anderson, simply because there are doctors in Dallas who do these types of surgeries here and there, mixed in with all of the other urology stuff that they do, and then there are the doctors at MD Anderson who do these surgeries constantly. That makes sense to me. So I am getting that ball rolling, but I have no idea how long that will take or what sort of logistical nightmare that will be set into motion.
In the meantime, I have received tons of support and encouragement from people who are praying for me and who love me. I am a very very blessed chica. Sometimes, though, I think when people hear I have had a cancer diagnosis, they assume that I am dying, and I'm not really sure how to respond to that yet. I know they mean well, and I don't want to be flippant and say "Oh, I'll be fine", because it is really scary and there are going to be some difficult things ahead for me, but I don't want people to think I've been given a death sentence either. Maybe I just feel awkward because this is still very new.
It may encourage you to know that I've already found plenty of things to laugh about. For instance, do you know what is a really good way to get what you want? Say you have cancer.
Take a conversation with my husband about where we want to eat, for example:
Me: I want Chic-Fil-A.
Greg: Meh, I don't know, we just had that last week.
Me: But I have cancer.
Works like a charm! Chic-Fil-A for everybody!
Actually it only worked about 3 times, and then he caught on. It was a good run, though.
My friend Kim made me laugh so hard today. I was telling her about my diagnosis and the surgery and THE SCAR! (Dear Lord, I'm afraid of the scar) and her immediate reaction was to tell me that it was such a wonderful thing that I had decided to wear a bikini for the past two summers, because those days are officially over now. I probably laughed for three straight minutes. That's a good friend.
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