You know how, in the movies and in books, people have major problems for a little while and then by the end they are all wrapped up neatly and life is perfect? That's not real life. In real life they stick around a little longer. In real life, you think you get them solved and they come right back around again anyway.
Real life takes perseverance. It takes opening a prayer journal, leafing through the pages from a few years ago, and realizing that you are still praying for the exact same things. It takes trust in God, but not the blind, "just pray for it and you will receive it" kind of trust; but the eye-opening realization that the praying will be continuous, the questions will be unresolved, but the God is still with you, still there, still in control, kind of faith.
I'm thankful for that kind of faith. As much as I may long for the simpler, naive days when I believed that everything would always turn out fine, I am grateful for the realization even without resolution there is peace; even in the midst of a storm there is comfort and trust.
Don't worry, (Mom), I'm not in the midst of any dramatic storm right now; not a new one anyway. There is the ever-present cloud of the same old one, off in the distance, the one that drives me back to that prayer journal over and over again. The one that is teaching me and molding my faith.
I met someone who was a survivor of a similar storm, ten years farther down the road than me, and she said she was thankful for it. She was glad to have gone through it. She can praise God with a smile that He chose her for this role. I cannot say that. I cannot even imagine saying that. But I can say that God is good. His Word is true. He is faithful. He gives strength and wisdom for each day, for each situation. His mercies are new every morning. And for that I am thankful.
Monday, February 2, 2009
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Oh Chrissy, I wish that I could blow those clouds away for you forever. But I admire your strength and trust and I believe that God is already being glorified because of it.
ReplyDeleteWe do new Christians a great disservice when we don't let them know that the change in their life will be internal. That their life will still be hard and their problems will not disappear with a simple prayer. But that through those struggles that God will never let them go.
Thank you for this beautiful, genuine post.
Oh, and one more thing. (I went off to blow dry my hair and was thinking about this.) Shane and I watched Fireproof this weekend and that was the issue I had with that movie. I felt it portrayed over and over again in that movie that if you just found Christ, your marriage would be supernaturally transformed virtually overnight. I felt like it was a dangerous message to portray giving people unrealistic expectations without showing that true heart changes come over time through diligent efforts to get to know HIm and refining our spirits to be more like him. (OK, this isn't MY blog, so I'll shut up now.)
ReplyDeleteI can say with honest that I've been grateful - afterwards - for nearly every rough patch I've ever gone through, the way God uses all things for good.
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
hmmm... i am not yet grateful for several rough patches... particularly the big one that I keep coming back to in prayer. the good news is that I have to go back to it less and less.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this post, it is a great idea! I have been struggling recently with what to post as i'm feeling rather ininspired so thank you for a great idea!
ReplyDelete